Dropping My Daily Stool Sample

Plugs
Today we have 2 new pages of your favorite webcomic, Kid Intense.  That would be page 14 and 15 of Chapter Four.

Also, Lucas gets Jiggy with the latest 8 1/2 by Eleven.

Also, I was reading a bit about Layne Staley’s last few years of his life, wow.  It made we think about one of Alice in Chains biggest hits Would?, which is about the death of Andrew Wood, who also died of a heroin overdose.  Jerry Cantrell wrote the song and could easily be about Staley.

Dear Malach

• C. Rag writes: Dear Malach, What should be the logo for the AngryMan Hate Club?  I am going to work on this this coming weekend, make a little badge for it, a webpage here, and then anyone can take it and link to the page, maybe a whole message of hate for Angryman blog . . . Suggestions?  Anyone?
• AngryMan and Malicious Intent write: (Paraphrasing) Dear Malach, that looks like a wonderful room we could go to at the International Inn in Hyannis (Locally known as “Cuddles and Bubbles”) will you pay for it? Ok, you both realize I work Human Services?  That is way out of my price range, but this ain’t.  Not only do they have a heart shaped tub room, half my clients live there, it is a cool place to score some drugs or a hooker; and to top off the experience, the skankiest strip club in the state is down the street.  You could get your anger and malicious intents all out in one night!

Micheal Savage
First, Savage is an idiot neo-con.  But this is really idiotic, so much so, the other neo-cons on in the morning won’t even defend him.  But i have a proposal for Mr. Savage.  How about I send 5 of my autistic clients to go live you for a month, and you straighten them right up.

RIP Estelle Getty
Sorry, not a Golden Girls fan.  You know though, some TV exec is thinking of this right now.  A Golden Girls reunion, right at Estelle Getty’s wake and funeral, Sophia dies, and “very special” Golden Girls.

Nanananananananananah . . .
BATMAN!

I said hello . . .
DOLLY!

Man those Italians!
They are all about the nookie.  Hey Mike Savage!  I worked with a autistic woman . .  one time during one of her “fake” behaviors, she grabbed the crotch of her jeans and tore the jeans off her body . . . yeah, she was fun.  I am sure you could fix her though right?  She will be one of the five.

Hey Just Me!
Was this you?

Watchmen
Let the buzz begin, this is going to be either truly terriffic or terrifyingly terrible, I still can’t wait.

Malach’s Video of the Day

I am Malach, not Moloch, Malach.

Plugs
There is a new 8 1/2 by Eleven guest starring Mike Tyson, and I’m not kidding.

Also, Malach has a new item up at ROYTERS News Service, this time an attempted interview with Barack Obama while he was in Iraq this weekend.  I must tell you I barely survived it.  Also, I love Angryman’s review of it, “It has all the makings of a Kid Intense Movie”.

Also, I restarted work on the latest episode of JesusMan! today, I am aiming to get it published by 8/7.

You are listening too . .
Right Turn, from Alice in Chains, who in this call call themselves Alice Mudgarden.  As you can tell, this song includes vocals from Mark Arm of Mudhoney, and Chris Cornell of Soundgarden.  Alice did a few weird songs like this, and it is a shame Layne Staley passed away via Heroin Overdose in 2002, their music was headed in a special direction before that.  One of the best parts of Alice was their vocal harmonies between Staley and Jerry Cantrell, both big fans of Brian Wilson.

KMP Update
Tough loss tonight, 10 - 9 in 8 innings.  We couldn’t get started offensively, which is a issue many times when we have 6+ days off without Softball.  The game was 2 - 1 until the 5th, when the Isotopes scored runs.  We came back to score 5 in the bottom of that inning to tie it up.  Isotopes went ahead by two in the 7th.  We got our first two batter on in the bottom of the 7th, next batter hit a pop fly, and after a throwing error, both base runners ended up on 2nd and 3rd and Malach was up.  I immediately knew my job, I had to go up and rip one hard and deep to the opposite field, in the very least getting it out of the infield and allow one of the runners to score and the other to advance to third.  I ripped a shot to Right Center, and their speedy Center fielder managed to catch it barely over the shoulder, he has a weak arm, and they needed two relays to get it in (I told you I hit shot, we scored both runs to tie it up, but could not plate the winning run.  The next inning the Isotopes scored three on a really good hit by one of their player, right on the line, but we came back loaded the bases with one out, got two runs home with two outs, and a man on third, and a great defensive play sealed it on us.

Malach has pitching well, I haven’t thrown a walk in 5 games, and I went 2 - 3 with the one sacrifice and 4 RBI’s, about the best hitting performance of the evening.  That makes us 21 - 6, but still in first place with the playoffs looming.

One of my players seemed to lament we got none of the lucky breaks in this game, of course I had to bring him back down to Earth, telling him we have won 21 of 27 games.

Dear Malach

• Vincent Morris writes:Dear Malach, I even have a question for you, who will be a cool choice to play Kid Intense (in a movie)?  Wow you love to set me up, I got the perfect candidate, Chris Burke.
• Angryman writes: Dear Malach: (Quote from Malicious Intent) “Man, I cannot believe I am going to say this, but I have to side with AngryMan…and that is kinda disturbing to me.” WTF?and Malicious Intent writes: Dear Malach, Ugh, Angry Man have no humor. Must resolve this issue. Ideas?  Yes, I suggest you two rent a room, here.  Maybe this one?

Wow . .
Are we sure Mike Brown ain’t still running FEMA?  Or like a 5 year old who can’t tell the difference between 18.5 million and 85 million?

Question
Do we really want a president who is Internet Illiterate?  Even my Memere who is almost 10 years older the Albino Midget can use the Internet.

Hey
Who hasn’t accosted Elie Wiesel?  I know I have.

Ok.
So your out drinking with your buddies, and your the one who passes out, of course they do stupid stuff like this, or maybe this, but dudes, don’t do this.

Yeah
This is not a pretty way to die . . .

Ok.
So according to Social Secruities new retirement calculator . .  I need to work to 95.

A-Rod - Victim
I don’t think so, A-Rod has tried to rape me twice now!

Malach’s Video of the Day

I am Malach and Bane take me to the Gotham Observatory

No Plugs Tonight

Dark Knight
Ok, I have been reading the reviews of the Dark Knight, discuss it with a few people I know, and I want to expand more on the movie.  First, I want to stress it was not a bad movie.  I fact, if you had never heard of Batman, I think your would be very impressed.  Also after watching Tim Burton’s Batman, and for the first time pieces of the worst movie ever made, Batman and Robin, it gave me more context.

Ok, it was a good movie, it kept me entranced for the almost three hours.  Ledger was awesome, so was Eckhardt, the the comic book geek in me was screaming something was wrong.  And after watching Batman, I figured it out.  Dark Knight’s fatal flaw is it’s attempts at realism.

Some points, Gotham City.  Gotham City is this dark, forbodeing Gothic style place, this version of Gotham ain’t, it is much to recognizable as Chicago.  Take Burton’s or even the other films Gothams.  That is Gotham, that looks like Gotham not matter how bad the movies were.  Even the 60’s version of Batman looked the part of Gotham.  So, they make the city look realistic.  Now, they get a ton of great actors to play realistic characters, and even Ledger version of the Joker, is pretty realistic.  And then Batman comes around.  They try to make him realistic, so they bulk him up in armor, limit what his utility belt can carry, but then do things like his kidnapping of the Chinese Guy in Hong Kong, and fall from 20 stories that no only he survives but the chick he saves (where Batman would have a grappling on his belt that would save them), I found the sonar generating device and computer pretty bothersome, and again, the costume . .  I don’t find this versions Batman costume at all intimidating . . . where is the menacing cape?  I mean use CGI or something.  To compare, look at Spiderman, they made his costume cool with out being bulky and armored, why not Batman?  I mean this is a superhero movie, make a cool costume and just announce how it is cooly armored.   Another issue I have is the actors they get to play Bruce Wayne/Batman.  They are too short.

In addition they then added Two Face, pretty unrealistic, but really cool.  He was more believable than Batman.

Maybe it is too much of a geekery complaint?  IDK, watching Batman today, while that had some real comic moments to it, it is still not a bad movie, beyond Micheal Keaton and Bruce Wayne.  Again don’t get me wrong Dark Knight was a great movie . . but . .  and still to this day, Batman the Animated Series, et al, still does it the best.

I also think seeing this movie, give you and idea why I say if you are ever to become of a costumed vigilante, lose the cape.

So, who is the best P4P fighter is the World?
So who is ready to see Fedor Emlianenko fight Anderson Silva?  I am.

Malach’s Video of the Day

I am Malach, and have a laugh

Plugs
Malach has a review up of The Dark Knight over at The WoW.  I am still not sure if it was better or worse than Ironman, but the two movies are somewhat hard to compare.  Ledger did give a brilliant performance.  I suppose as a film taking the 60+ years of Batman mythos out of it . .  Damn good film.

I have one other complaint.  Flagship Cinema, they started the movie slightly late, so Murk and I missed the preview for Watchmen on the big screen.

You are listening too . . .
Party at Ground Zerofrom Fishbone.

So Tiger Woods go down.
Malach is no longer interested that much in golf, except for this.  Additionally the boy tells me after seeing it, he wants to play golf.  Malach thinks, wow, Pro Golfer?  Come in last and win $120,000 . . . Let go to the driving range next week son.

Malach’s Video of the Day

I am Malach, and thanks for reading my Bat-Blog

Plugs
We got a new Fetus - X.

Oh, and I also spent a lot of time working on these pages today.

Watchmen
Ok, I got a few question about the Watchmen, mainly what it is about.  Watchmen was a 12 issue monthly limited comic book series released 1986 - 1987.  It set the comic world of fire, and it’s influence on both comics and movies is still felt today.  DC has been trying to make this a movie since the film rights were bought is Aug of 1986 even before the series was finished.  The first script was done in 1988.  Terry Gilliam was initially hired back then to direct it.  After a few years, he bowed out cause he did not feel he could create a 2 and half hour movie that could reflect the piece at the time, wanting instead a 2 part 5 hour film.  It the got mired in development hell for a number of years, and you can read that mess here. 

Watchmen is the only comic to ever win a Hugo Award and it listed in the “100 best english language novel since 1923″ by TIME Magazine.  What is Watchmen?  A brief synopsis.  It is set in a alternate reality 1985, where costumed vigilante’s did fight crime until they were made illegal or they work for the government.  And they are just that, guys in costumes, no superpowers save one, Dr. Manhattan (the Blue Guy in the trailer).  Dr. Manhattan is essentially God on Earth, he can do anything and whatever he wants with a mere thought, being American, this of course has given American a huge weapon in the Cold War.

The US and the Soviet Union are inching ever closer to war, since the creation of Dr. Manhattan in a accident; Dr. Manhattan had disrupted the mutually assured destruction doctrine by possessing the power to neutralize most of the Russian nukes in mid-air. With this trump card in hand, America has enjoyed a distinct strategic advantage, allowing it to defeat the Soviet Union in a series of proxy wars, including victory in Vietnam.  Hence the Doomsday Clock begins at 5 minutes of . . .

The novel opens with a murder of Edward Blake, also known as the Comedian one of the two costume heroes that registered after the Keene Act outlawed costumed vigilantes.  A illegal costumed adventurers Rorschach investigates Blakes murder, and uncovers a world spanning plot, that involves a groups of costumed vigilantes he used to be a member of . . .

It takes off from there.  The movie will be rated R, I don’t see how they could make it anything else and still be in tune with the series.  The series also has a ton of deep symbolism and allegory.  If you have never read a comic book, read this one.

You will also notice a few things in the trailer, Dr. Manhattan creation is featured, The World Trade Center can been seen in some shots, so it will be set in the right time, and Rorcshach, the guy with the Rorschach mask, his mask blots change as he moves.  There are some really great shots in the gallery at the website, including the newstand where a lot of the novel is set, and a Richard Nixon 4 More Years poster.

Dear Malach

• Real Mother Hen writes: Dear Malach, And really, who would like to be called Dick?  Yes the name Richard is no longer popular like it was several generation ago.  The only Richards I know go by Rick.
• Colonel Colonelwrites: Dear Malach, So, um… what’s Watchmen about again?  I hope above helped explain it.
• C. Rag writes:  Dear Malach, Are excited for Batman or think it’s overrated?  Very excited, I finally think someone beyond Mark Hamill is going to portray the Joker correctly.  Angry Piper, Dr. Murk, and I are going to see it tomorrow, you know we saw the Tim Burton Batman together in High School.

More Mighty Putty
So my Mighty Putty repair stood up to huge pressure today.  Heat Wave going on, so I turned on the Central Air.  The AC and the Dishwasher dump into the same piper, and that was where the leak was.  Well, Mighty Putty stood up to the test!

The Wesport Fair
Took the Children to mine and their favorite summer fair, the Wesport Fairtonight!  It is a good old country fair, and still has that feel.  The only in the area like it.  The rest of the fairs are either these high class arts and music, or ghetto carnival flea markets.  Not the Westport Fair.  Awesome food, farmer markets, farm animal contests and judging, antique farm equipment, music, tractor pulls stock and modified, a carnival, tons of fun is a safe enironment . . .YEEEEHAAAWW!

And just as I am working on that section of website . .
The Pope had this to say.

Hey maybe if I start blogging from Death Row . .
I might make a mint in advertising.

Malach’s Video of the Day
Sheik Yerbouti Friday with a bit of Sugar.

I am Malach and that’s a good idea, she said, she said

Plugs
All I got today is an article I wrote for Unpaid Sports Guysabout the changing face of the fandom of the AL East.  It also includes a very interesting video that the Red Sox Broadcast during rain delays.

Watchmen Trailer
So, there was buzz all over the internet today concerning Watchmen and the imminent trailer release.  Evidently, the trailer was supposed to be released for the Dark Knight opening, and Empireonline had exclusive rights to broadcast it at 5AM (UK Time) this morning (which would be midnight here is the US).  Well, something happened this morning, where the trailer was “accidentally” posted at Empire.  Of course it was immediately stolen by the webheads and posted all over the place, including YouTube.  Warner Bros. immediately went into action and forced a ton of websites to take it down, including YouTube.  But the word spread so fast, more people stole it, websites who still had it crashed, and finally WB relented and put the trailer on the official website.

May I say, I haven’t been this excited for a movie since The Lord of the Rings.  Not only is Watchmen the most favorite comic I ever read, it is one of my favorite pieces of all time fiction.  I will post the trailer in my video of the day.

You are listening too . .
Can’t Fight It, from Bob Mould.

Dear Malach

• Mike writes: Dear Malach, Holy sh*t. That Angry Piper is one Angry Piper, isn’t he?  If you ever meet him in person, you too will call him the Morose Piper.
• Kitty writes: Dear Malach, Firstly … how can anyone be called A Dick?  Dick is short for Richard, was a popular name here is the states.  It make funny names too:  Tricky Dick Nixon, Dick van Dyke, Dick Trickle.
• Dr. John Rebello writes: Dear Malach, Man, that Piper is just a big old attention whore ain’t he?  Saw through that email that easily huh?

The Mood of Red Sox Nation
PAPI!

Quinton Jackson
Ok, a seriously crazy Quinton Jackson is extra scary.  I hope he hasn’t been hanging with Britney.

Malach’s Video of the Day

I am Malach and I cannot WAIT to see this film

Plugs
Today episode 41 of The Sleazy Adventures of Dick Biggman is up, in which Dick makes a somewhat obscure reference to a classic 1992 Cameron Crowe movie.

The funny part about that reference, the fake band in the movie (Called Citizen Dick) sings a song called Touch Me I’m Dick.  It is a reference to the pre grunge Mudhoney song, Touch Me I’m Sick.  Mudhoney was a HUGE influence on Kurt Cobain.  And to show you how incestuous the Seattle scene was in the late 80’s.  Green River was the first, and that included Mudhoney’s lead singer Mark Arm and Steve Turner, and Pearl Jam’s Jeff Ament and Stone Gossard.  Green River broke up, creative differences, Tuner and Arm formed Mudhoney, Ament and Gossard went on to form Mother Love Bone (MLB).  MLB’s front man (Andrew Wood) dies of a heroin overdose months before their major label debut, Temple of the Dog comes around with Ament, Gossard, and Eddie Vedder, which in turn forms Pearl Jam.  And of course Chris Cornell of Soundgarden was Wood’s Roomate.  And of course Soundgarden and Alice in Chains shared the same management team, and of course Mudhoney’s drummer was in an intial incarnation of Nirvana.

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled program .  .
For a very Special Dear Malach.  This was a heart wrenching e-mail I received today:

Dear Malach:

I’m publishing this mini-tirade on your blog and not mine because no one goes to mine anymore. I’m on vacation next week, however, and plan on finishing the rest of the

Ireland trip log in one go. That way the next time AngryMan gets lost on the Internet and winds up on my blog, I won’t have to endure any of his snarky comments about how I never finish anything I start. Douchebag.

Anyway, what the fuck? I don’t swing by here for a few days—ok, weeks— and then Eve tells me you’ve started up an Angry Piper dating service or some bullshit like that. So I drop by, and lo and behold! Tons of questions about yours truly, and you pimping me out like a ten dollar crack whore.

Now to address some of the particulars. First of all, to Moooogpie: I am THE Angry Piper. There are many pipers. Some are even angry from time to time. But there is only one me.

I’m not really a big deal.

To Just Me: I believe, you tree-huggin’, barefoot, dirty hippie, that you may have implied I was bisexual. I am not. I am not as masculine as, say, Dr. Robert J. Murk (awesome!), but then again, who is? Nor am I as super-fruity as Malach (like that’s even possible). No, my dear, I’m not bisexual. But you were right about one thing. I’d like to bite into Toyita like a ravenous shark and shakshakeshakeshakeshake her with my love. And I think you were being coy. You do want me. Admit it.

Next, to Malicious Intent: Malach has known me since 1986, which makes him somewhat well-versed in the female characteristics I find desirable. It’s true I like my women on the bigger, voluptuous side. Eve is a prime example. Of course, being 4’11”, Eve could hardly be considered big. But man, does she have enormous knockers. And while this would normally be swell, the very thought of having relations with Eve makes me rush to the safe place in my mind and slam the iron door and rock myself to sleep saying, over and over, “There’s no place like home.”

Neither should Malach rush to conclusions regarding my taste in women. As noted before, I would utterly destroy Toyita with the savage, passionate love hurricane I would unleash upon her with primal abandon, and from the two pictures I have seen of my

Latina love goddess, she hardly falls into either the “big” or “voluptuous” category. So it just goes to show nothing is carved in stone, least of all my fickle whims.

Anyway, Malach, you keep writing about me and I will throw your flaming gay ass through a windshield. And you know I’ll do it, too.

Now doesn’t that bring a tear to your eye?  I don’t even think I could go back to regular old Dear Malach . . . There is not really a question in here . . . I suppose I could just show you this (WARNING ABSOLUTELY NOT SAFE FOR WORK, KIDS, OR ANYWHERE YOU WOULD BE EMBARRASSED TO BE LOOKING AT THIS)?  May I also add, The Angry Piper was never a member of Green River, but he was in an early incarnation of Mother Love Bone.

Regular Old Dear Malach

• C. Rag writes:  Dear Malach, Which is a better name for my unborn kid, Tempest Storm, Crackerette, or Phil Spector?  Well, there is also OJ Simpson, but I think the best name would be Jesse Debuc from Attleboro Massachusetts.  By the way, feel free to post the video I linked to above, I think that is better than the Smurf video.
• Pope Benedict XVI writes: Dear Malach, Fags and Boobies? Heh! Unless your are referring to cigarettes and little sticks, and the almighty milky breast of the Virgin Mother, you are going to Gehenna, yes, yes.   Hey Pooper, I suppose I will see you there for all the Jews you exterminated in WWII.  Wow, I am feisty today.
• Tequila Mockingbird writes: dear malach, when i was in florida and getting sand in my naughty bits, i thought of you. you are like that grain of sand, i dig and dig and you are still there. but yet, the digging just feels so nice, i couldnt do without.  My goodness, I can always count to bring the class level up around here.  Lots of women have the problem, there is a good antibiotic for that . .  and shampoo too.
• Tammie writes: Dear Malach, Gee now you have me wondering….is the guy on the corner who does breast exams for a dollar legit? Gosh darn it! Now I’ll have to ask him to remove his ski mask so I can check his ID….  You’ll be fine as long as he has this his Trust Me, I’m Gynecologist business card on him.

Ok, let’s bring the classiness factor up a little more
Please read Malicious Intent’s latest blog wishing her 15 year old son a Happy Birthday.  MI son is Autistic, and having a sister-in-law who is Autistic, with similar issues, I am completely empathetic with her.  I am going to pass this around to my friends and associates in the Autism Field, you might get a lot of messages of support from them.

The All Star Game
And this time it means something!  Well it was quite the game, but I shut it off at 12AM.  Congrats to JD Drew for the MVP.  It was really interesting to watch and just goes to show how Yankees and Red Sox fans have flipped.  I was a laugh riot to watch Yankee stadium explode with delight with Drew hit the homer to tie it up, then realize it was a Red Sox player, and the whole thing turn to boos as he rounded second.  More on this at Unpaid Sport Guys tomorrow.

Goodbye James Posey
We loved you James, good player, great guy, and I don’t blame you for chasing the money.  You we a huge part of banner number 17 and you will always be looked upon kindly in Celtics lore.

NO!
NOT ANDY DICK!

Malach’s Video of the Day
And to add even more class, Italian Spiderman 9!

I am Malach and that made me joyous

Plugs
Today we have a new 8 1/2 by Eleven; Jessica looking like a drunken trollop is this one.  Also we have a new political cartoon in Political Turmoil.  It is called the C*nt Yorker, and is by my blogging buddy, Ted Velvet, and has some profanity, so you have been warned.  It is about the recent New Yorker cover controversy.

Also, Kongregate, which I am member of (Malach over there) has some cool flash games, their new collectible card game, Kongai ROCKS!  Check it out.  Murk, I think we found our new online game!

You are listening too . .
Ana, from the Pixies . . . been listening to this album as I paint.

My Back
Much better, I left work early after some morning appointments, around 10:30, rested fell much better, not a 100% but probably will be tomorrow.  Which is good becuase . .

KMP Softball Update
I had to play tonight, we had only 9 guys.  Still won 14 - 5.  Malach used a lighter bat to help his back, and went 2 - 3 with 2 SAC flies.  My pitching has been awesome.  I have pitched a walk in about 5 games.

Dear Malach

• Colonel Colonel writes: Dear Malach, So, what’s up with Eva Longoria -first she marries a basketball star, and now she’s in the home run derby? She doesn’t look like much of a jockette, but I guess you never know. Is it a sign of the decline and fall of our civilization that people now announce their breakups through their publicists? An internet surfing injury? I’d advise simply telling people it’s a surfing injury and let them think what they want.  Eva is just that talented, watch the Cubs go after her as they have become a crazy trade machine.  Did you get the message from my publicist?  Also, I was doing paperwork whilst surfing, so it might be a Workman’s Comp issue.
• Angryman writes: Dear Malach, So, you hurt yourself surfing the internet? That must be an impressive war story. I can see in you in the boat in Jaws when everyone is explaining how they got their scars.
  “I got mine in a war.”
  “I got mine surfing the internet.”
  “OK, we know who we’re using for chum!”
  Hey, growing up by the sea, I know how to fish, not get seasick, and drive a boat, I am valuable, and you know, I am only 30 miles away from Martha Vineyard where they filmed JAWS, so I think I got the most going for me.

What does my blog image look like?
You get a link here, my blog is having issues with Wordle’s coding.

Not bad but my favorite so far is De Pope’s.  Try it out on your own blog.

Hey Quinton Jackson?
Dude, what is up with this?  It is just a title loss, you’ll be back.

The Rules of Engagement.
Now I know most of you don’t have a problem with this.  But think about it . . . this is one of the oldest rules of war, if this is true, what is to stop the bad guys doing this?

Susan Atkins
Ok, I am ready for you crazy Susan Atkins defenders, but good.

Phil Spector
I am for one am waiting with baited breath for the Nutty Professor’s Trial part II.

Darn It!
There goes one excuse for a new fake business . . .

Hey Gays!
You can make it, make it in Massachusetts!  Now don’t get us wrong, it not that we support gay marriage, we just want to bring your money into our state, we could be the Gay Las Vegas, bring in the Casinos, Deval Patrick!

Malach’s Video of the Day

I am Malach and Bruce Timm’s animated version of Batman Rocks.

Not sure how this blog will turn out, did something to my back and I can’t sit comfortably for long.

Plugs
The Road to Emmaus is XI is now up.

Happy Birthday
Dad turns 59 years young today!  Happy Birthday, I love you.  I hope I have it on the right day, I always confuse his birthday, and my parents anniversary.  And of course I never write it down.  I don’t know why this happens to me, I usually don’t have this kind of issue with Birthday’s . .

KMP Softball and back update
OK, I did something weird to my back at work today surfing the net. I got this twinge in the left side lower back, around the hip, and its not painful, just very uncomfortable, and most uncomfortable sitting.  It did loosen up pretty good warming up for softball, as long as I did not sit, and I played tonight, used a pinch runner though.  I did notice my pitchung required more than usual concentration, but we won 15 - 5.  I batted pretty good, 2 for 3 with a Sacrifice.

So, now again, the back in uncomfortable, after this I am going to bed, see how it feels in the morning, might call out (Darn!  I only have 380 hours of sick time).

Home Run Derby
Malach is pulling for two underdogs, Evan Longoria and Ryan Braun.  1st round is still going on as Josh Hamilton has a gone a little nuts with 26 right now.

Dear Malach:

• Moog writes: Dear Malach, Bi people cancel each other out?  It depends, sometimes they double each other.
• Malicious Intent writes: Dear Malach, Why I am Angry Pipers type?? Is this a good thing or a bad thing?  Ok, I am not trying to insultanyone here, but the Piper likes women he can take care of, and he likes them Curvy and Rubenesque.   He is more of a Bettie Page man than a Angelina Jolie man.  You two can join his puppet show of women!  It could be a good thing if you like big nosed, dress wearing, comic book geeks.

Hey Dubya
Instead of reopening offshore drilling, what about focusing on finding altenate fuels sources?

Tempest Storm
She is still stripping after all these years.  C.Rag put ups a nice video tribute to her, check it out.  Stripping was so much more classy back then.

This is too bad . .
The one celebrity coupleI actually liked, kaputz.

Malach’s Video of the Day

My name is Malach and I am the best there is at what I do, and what I do is generally very nice.

No Plugs Tonight
I was busy today doing things with my son, including a couple hours of painting which leaves me 98% done with my latest painting.  I am going to try and finish it up this week.

Special Olympics Softball
So, to expand on yesterday, for about 12 years, Malach has been playing on a Unified Special Olympics Softball team.  By Unified, it means half the team are “normal” adults (called partners), the other half are disabled adults (or Special Olympians, athletes for short).  The basic rules are the same as regular slow pitch softball with a couple of exceptions.  The first is you must have 5 athletes on the field and batting at all times (team of 10).  In addition you can bat 2 extra batters, one partner and one athlete.

Now, my team as I metioned is one of the top teams in the state.  They division teams based of skill level and phyical impairment.  My team, The Rangers is in the top division, I have mostly skilled partners and athletes, more than on any of the two other New Bedford based teams which has less skilled players.  In past years, it might of been hard to tell who were the partners and who were the athletes on the team, there are still some teams in the division like that.

Well, we have been in this top division the past 8 years, and have won gold 4 times, silver 3, and bronze once.  It usually comes down to us and a team from Fitchburg called Ma’s Giants.  We have traded the gold over the past few years, and people who have been following this blog for the 4 years I have been doing it know about my “softball enemy”, Gene Hackman from Ma’s (another story, his real name is John, and he is funny as Hell).

So, this little thing we went to on Saturday is the assessment round, basically seeing if you are in the division you should be in.  It might surprise some of you to know, some teams are very competitive and cheat in these assessment rounds to get put into lower level division . . . not us though, we like to play the best teams.

So this year we lost one of our better athletes, actually we have lost 3 over the past few years (one is prison, another blog I did awhile ago).  These guys were about as good as an average men’s team softball player, if not better at some things.  Also for this tournament, we lost our regular third basemen who is also in that category cause his bastard employer wouldn’t give him the day off (THANKS SEARS, FRIEND TO THE DISABLED EVERYWHERE).

So, that left the Rangers with basically one remaining athlete who was at that level, and the 5 remaining just got worse talent wise, some really bad (can’t catch, hit consistently).  So, we expected to lose both the games we played.

But no, our partners are all regular softball players, very good softball players so we mostly carried the day.  So, a few things worked in our favor.  We could use our partners to drive in a lot of runs, and my pitching: my pitching is so far advanced beyond normal special olympics pitching by other pitchers, I can essentially, by adjusting and using certain pitches, shut down most Special Olympics teams (yeah, I wrack up a lot of strikeouts). 

So, here we go, we take the 2 1/2 hour bus ride (WTF Special Olympics, this is MA, I should have to drive no more than a hour), to Chicopee.  Our first game is against the Dragons.  Win the coin toss, home team.  Dragons have almost a typical Special Olympics team.  Top 5 batters can hit, the next 5 are 50/50, their partners are only average at best.  So, first inning, they pound my curve and cutter, score 4 runs.  We of course come up next inning and score three.  We shut down the bottom of the order, they shut down the bottom of our order.  Next time around top of the order again, I switch to the knuckle ball, no one can hit it effectively, we get out of there, final inning (assesment round has time limits).  Dave (partner) leads off with a double; no outs Jeff (also a partner) infield fly, boy was he embarassed; Jorge (athlete) comes up, dribbles one down first base line, fast runner, but he is out; Dave books it to third, sees the first baseman is not paying attention and runs home; by the time they figure out what on going on and throw the ball home, Dave in there by two steps. We win.

Second game, back and forth game.  We again won the coin toss, took home field advantage (advice, always take home field in Baseball/Softball).  Came down to the last inning, they were up by one, I got 2 men on base with 2 outs, and get a free swinging athlete to the plate, not sure is he could hit, so I send meatball down the middle, which he foul tipped, I sent one way inside, which he fouled off handle down third base line . . . now I knew if I threw my hook, he would whiff on it.  So of course I did.  Knuckleball, a beaut bounced left then right and dropped right in front of the plate, which of course he missed by a mile, I get a lot of people on that pitch.  Head into the bottom half of the inning, we had man on second, and a man on third, 2 outs and of course Malach was up.  I was the last of the good hitters in the top 5 of our lineup.  Now, here is the secret to being a Special Olympics hero.  The worst fielders on the field are almost always the second baseman and the right fielder.  Malach knows this of course, and Malach is an EXTREMELY good opposite field hitter, I just see the athlete sitting out there, cause a lot of teams play this stupid defense; where they put the majority of their outfielder from center to left, leave the one bad fielder out in right.  So needless to say I rocketed it down the right field line, the right fielder did manage to get glove on it, but by the time it was retrieved and thrown in, I had stand up triple and we had won the game.  Yeah, I know, I’m such a jerk.

Some other stories, usually get complaints about my ptiching (”HE CURVES THE BALL, THAT’S NOT FAIR”), none this time.  Had a complaint about using a wooden bat, this was funny though.  In the first game, I get up, and the left fielder in playing pretty short.  I am not a consistent power hitter, but was WAY TOO enticing, so I ripped it over his head.  The opposing coach of course yelled about the wooden bat, but the umpire put him in his place.  “Sir, he would shot that ball another 50′ with a metal bat”.  Coach shut up after that.

Also, we got 3 black guys on our team, used to have 4.  Once you get into Western MA, past Worchester, color kind of disappears.  So, Bobby, who also plays on KMP, light skinned brother, about 6′3″, 265 lbs, cranks one, that would have left a major league park. We also have James, he’s an athlete, also light skinned, about the same height, thinner build, immediately when he gets up, the coach goes nuts: “HEY, THIS IS THE GUY THAT RIPPED I OVER YOUR HEAD!”.  Of course, he realized his mistake after we took the field and saw us laughing at him.  The other black guy we have is Vin.  He’s Wesley Snipes black.  They didn’t confuse him.

So then of course a bunch of players came by the house afterward to hang out, bonfire, drink and such.

You are Listening too . . .
My last Living Colour selection, Nothingness, a awesome song.

Dear Malach

• Cash writes: Dear Malach, Did you know that I actually wrote that song for The Replacements?  Really?  We, first if you wrote it, being a dog and all, I don’t think the title would be Bastards of the Young, but Bitches of the Young.  Since the song was written in like 1984, that would make you at least 168 years old in dog years.
• Just Me writes: Dear Malach, Everyone wants you when you’re bi, right? But do two bi people cancel eachother out? Because I don’t want Toyi or AngryPiper and as far as I know, they don’t want me…..what says you, Mr. Merciless?  I am not particularly fond of Bisexuals and partners, as I feel being bisexual gives on an excuse not to be faithful, ie: that one sex isn’t giving you everything you need, and relationships are hard enough to maintain.  As for Toyi and the Angry Piper, they were made for each other, if only Toyi could see it.  2 Bisexuals, I don’t even want to think about that.  As for wanting you . . I would watch out for the Angry Piper, your are his type.
• Malicious Intentwrites: Dear Malach, Hi Honey, I’m back! Did ya miss me??  Of course, and you better watch out too, your also the Angry Piper’s type.  And she also writes: Dear Malach, P.S. Did you do your podcast yet?  No, not yet, our schedules have been too screwy, I will call him tomorrow about it.

The Mood of Red Sox Nation
All Star break, and guess who is back in first?

Malach’s Video of the Day

I am Malach and did you write this song too Cash?