Halloween

Children are just darling in their little Halloween outfits. That is, unless they’re speed addicted, malnourished children posing as trick or treaters robbing a bank. It’s not so cute when they reach into a bag and pull out a nine millimeter and redecorate the lobby of the bank. No one likes the trick where they slap the teller and call her a naughty word, or blow the manager’s brains out onto the other tellers. It’s not nice.

The poor security guard couldn’t bring himself to shoot a child. The customers in the bank noticed that these children were horribly behaved. Real monsters. They were eating the security guard. He’s not candy, children.

They filled their bags with money. Lots and lots of money. Then, they played a nasty trick on everyone in the bank. They lit it on fire. That was not nice. Not at all. I can’t believe their parents let them out alone. Unsupervised children always misbehaved.

Wait. The parents were outside the whole time. They scooped up the crying children and pulled out guns of their own. The apple most definitely does not fall far from the tree. Plant a carrot, get a carrot. These awful parents shot people trying to flee the burning bank. What was this world coming to?

Finally a siren. The police will set these youngsters straight. A little scare will put everyone back into the fabricated box they belong in. It’s an ambulance. We’re saved! An ambulance with no tires. It’s purple and green. Nobody expected the paramedics would dress for the holiday. Now this was a treat.

Look! There’s one dressed as Baron Samadhi. And that one has a Gatling Gun. Look at all the green smoke. Ooooh. It stings. Was that an explosion? I can’t see anything, can you? Can you hear the screaming? Now this is Halloween. It’s terrifying to say the least. People will want to visit the haunted bank show every year, if there’s anyone left to tell about it.

Oh good. The news van is here. Let’s get on TV. Say hello to America. Happy Halloween everyone! Happy Halloween! Trick or treat! Trick or treat! Holiday Greetings from The Fink! Candy and bloodshed for everyone! Ha ha!

My my my. It is going to be a busy Halloween. Uncle Fink needs to go home and get his costume on and get more children to join the fun. Enjoy the mess, Superteam, whoever you may be. Enjoy the confusion and the blame. You look so sharp in your little costumes. Enjoy, children, enjoy!

Can you hear the motorcycle roar to life and ride over sprawled bodies like twigs in the forest? Don’t we all love Halloween? So many Holidays we can spend together. All the earth rejoice! The children are running wild in the fields with their hair undone. Sing to the blood red sky! Halloween is here!

Chapter Four | Chapter Six