Cecil Stanton needed the Math Department.

He walked down the hall to the Telephone Department and asked an Operator to call the Math Department.  As a Historical Analyst, he had not received training in Math.  Math was not necessary to the duties of a Historical Analyst.  Historical Analysts analyze.  Historical Analysts do not do Math.

The Operator, having been properly trained to make calls between Departments, placed Cecil’s call to the Math Department.  After a few moments, the Operator there answered the call.  A brief conversation ensued.  Then the Operator turned to Cecil and told him to return to his desk and wait for Justin Hubbard from the Math Department to arrive.  

Cecil returned to his desk to find that the Historical Research Department had dropped off a new stack of papers for him to sort through.  He hoped that this batch was more interesting that the last batch.  That dealt with the development of a curious bit of the law of the now extinct United States.  It covered something called the Fourth Amendment.  It specifically related to the differing models of interpreting the Fourth Amendment.  Cecil thought that the papers were best suited for the Legal Department.  The Legal Department disagreed.  The Legal Department argued that they were only concerned with the law in its current state.  It had no interest in the law of the past.

Cecil and the Legal Department took the dispute to the Dispute Resolution Committee.  The Dispute Resolution would make a decision.  Each side had the Briefing Department list the reasons that the other should have jurisdiction over the papers.  Each side had the Oral Advocacy Department orally argue their case before the Dispute Resolution Committee.

Cecil lost his argument.  The Dispute Resolution Committee decided that jurisdiction belonged with the Historical Analysts.  “The papers are about what was.  The papers are not about what is.  If ever there was something perfectly suited for the Historical Analysts, it would be these documents” were the exact words of the Dispute Resolution Committee’s opinion.  So, Cecil ended up working on the Fourth Amendment paper.  He didn’t really understand it.  He didn’t think that the people who lived at the time understood it, either.

Cecil perused the new batch of papers while he waited for Justin with the Math Department to show up.  These seemed to be about something that he had already studied.  These seemed to be about the American Cold War.  Cecil hated getting new information on an old topic.  New information usually ended up causing him too much work.  For example, if the new information disproved a prior analysis then he would have to turn the work over to the Re-Analysis Department.  The Re-Analysis Department would compare any prior works with Cecil’s new work.  The Re-Analysis Department would then check for inconsistencies.  If any were found, the Re-Analysis Department would contact Cecil.  The Re-Analysis Department would also contact the Historical Research Department.  Questions would be asked as to why this information was not found earlier.  Questions would be asked as to why an account that was not fully accurate was published.  Questions would be asked as to why an account that was not true was published. 

The Historical Research Department would fail to understand the questions.  It would respond by saying “But that’s how Historical Research works!”  Then Cecil would say, “I just analyze what is given to me.  I cannot control what is not given to me.  I cannot control what I do not have.”  And all of this would simply lead the Re-Analysis Department to publish a new edition of the prior work.  It would then be as if nothing happened.  All of that re-analysis and all people got was a lousy second edition.

Cecil sifted through the materials.  He saw that it had nothing to do with his previous work on the Cold War.  This was something about the Civil War.  He wondered why there were so many wars.  He then noticed a Helper was approaching him.  The Helper was approaching with a man.  Cecil did not recognize the man.  Cecil hoped it would be Justin from the Math Department.

When the Helper got to Cecil’s desk he said, “This is Mr. Cecil Stanton of the Historical Analysis Department.  He needs the help of the Math Department.  Mr. Stanton, this is Justin Hubbard.  Mr. Hubbard is with the Math Department.”

The Helper turned away.  He walked back to the Helper Station near Cecil’s desk.  If anyone needed help they just went to the Helper Station and asked for help.

“What is it you need done?” Justin asked.

“I need to find out something about these numbers,” Cecil said while handing Justin a sheet of paper with eight digits written on it.  The digits were in two rows of four.

“These numbers are 1337 and 1453.  They look like dates of some kind.”

“That’s what I suspected,” Cecil said to himself.

“Is that all you needed me for?”

“No.  It’s, well . . .  I’m not sure.”

“Not sure about what?”

“Well, I don’t know how to ask this, but what do those dates mean exactly?”

“They could mean anything.  They could be birthdays, death dates, a term of life, anything that numbers can be used to represent.”

“What do you mean, ‘term of life?’”

“Well, numbers are used to mark off and keep time.  These dates look like they cover a certain period of years.”

“Yes!  Yes!  That’s what I thought!  You see, the document that I found these dates in said that the Hundred Years War lasted from 1337 to 1453.”

“That cannot be right.”

“Why?” Cecil thought that he knew where Justin was going.  He wanted to let Justin say it, though, so that he would not be wrong.

“Because those dates cover a span of 116 years.  That is 16 more years than 100.”

“What do you mean?”

“If something is called the One Hundred Years War, it must have lasted for 100 years.  If it lasted 116 years, it could not be a One Hundred Years War.”

“Then why is it called the One Hundred Years War?”

“That’s not really my department.”

“I know, it’s my department.”

“Do you need anything else?”

“No, wait!  Yes, yes I need one more thing!”

“What is it?”

“You said that 116 is 16 more than 100.”

“Correct.”

“Is that, well, is it, I mean . . .” Cecil struggled to get the words out of his head.  He saw a relationship between the numbers.  He couldn’t figure out what the relationship was.  Cecil buried his head in thought.

After a few moments of silence, Justin said, “What was it that you needed?”

“Oh, uh, nothing, I guess that is all I need.  Thank you for your help, Mr. Hubbard.”

“You’re welcome,” Justin said as he turned away and walked back to the Helper.

Cecil stayed at his desk.  He continued to ponder the relationship between 116 and 100.  16 more years than 100, he thought to himself.  What could that possibly mean?  Why would someone call something a Hundred Years War if it lasted 116 years?

“They must have meant the 116 Years War,” Cecil decided.  He continued his report.  He changed all references to the Hundred Years War to the 116 Years War.  After that, he set to work on this strange thing called the “Civil War.”